New blog post. Finally.
Well, it took a while to move through the emotional state I was in after my pet died. I realised that I had been well entrenched in this mindset even before she died; that I had been experiencing grief, guilt, anxiety and loss for my old life since I’ve arrived here.
The job market has closed for the season (save one last posting), and I have nothing but two long lists and a phone interview to show for it. The last posting actually has the most promise for me, but whether I want it or not is another question. I want a job, of course, but, well, I guess I’m just scared. I know that regardless of the job, I need to apply; that an interview is a good thing for the CV, and that an offer is even better. Will I be able to do what I want within the context of this particular (or any) position, is up to me. What I am afraid of is not being able to live up to their expectations.
A while back I made a decision, based on comments on a job wiki, that it would be better for me to move onto another postdoc rather than a job I didn’t want, provided that the postdoc would produce high quality publications. But recent financial issues have cropped up, and I simply don’t think I can continue to postdoc. So, with that, I really want this new position, regardless of the location and their expectations. I can learn to teach anything they want me to teach. I can accept responsibilities that I have little experience for, and I can do it all while developing a strong research program.
I’m back to being excited about the future, but we’ll see how long that lasts. Today I’m up, but tomorrow…In the mean time, I’ll try to blog with a little more regularity.
