I was talking with a prominent professor in my department the other day over lunch at a meeting we were both attending. We hadn’t met before (I’m a newbie in the department), and we were talking about the instability and unpredictability of life during the postdoc stage. I’m sure he was trying to be supportive, but not realizing how (um) old I actually am, was telling me his story of how his first permanent position didn’t happen ‘til he was 39. Not reassuring for me at 36 (and a half), starting a postdoc.
On top of that, I woke up the other morning, and the whole world had changed. It wasn’t a tangible change; things were just different. I woke up and I was old. Well, I wasn’t old, but everyone else my age was old.
And I started to think, maybe I should get married? Would that make me look more serious, more professional? Would that increase my chances of getting a real job before I’m 40? Would that make me look normal?
Age is a funny thing.
My advisor is a month younger than I am, and I like to tease him about that. But truth is, we are both immature and goofy, and on the verge of having midlife crises. He’s been talking about motorbikes lately; I’m thinking I shouldn’t have sold my skateboard. But who are we kidding; how bloody ridiculous would either of us look on a bike or a skateboard?
Will I ever feel like an adult?
Is that the curse of our generation?
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